I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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