Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
