remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize