I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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