these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
