Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize