Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
