My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
