i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We smell like vodka and hangover
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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