i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
