please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
