Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
