i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
