I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
