she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So vagazzling was a success
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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