so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
