I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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