he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize