I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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