id be glad to
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
