Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize