don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He shit in the fireplace
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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