hotel room ftw
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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