I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
