You're so nebulous sometimes
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
