bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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