Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
