9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
