I hope mine doesn't look like that
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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