So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
