Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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