I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
