is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
