don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
