Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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