if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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