Girls should come with a carfax report
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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