She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
