my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
