You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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