i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
