question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Quick, to the slutcave!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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