Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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