Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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