You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
