Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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