oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
