This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
