I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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