Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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