wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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