dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize