the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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