how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
