My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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