Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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