Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
