Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
