You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
