she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
be right there i have to get my cape
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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