You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
