if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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