if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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