just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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