I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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