But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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